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Writer's pictureChristina Nicole

Initiation, Interrupted

In all my years of working with people (I used to joke and say I was the witch at the top of the hill that everyone was afraid of but would come find when things got really bad, which is to say: I’ve seen it all), I’ve never seen an initiation interrupted. Meaning: once an awakening starts, the only direction you can go is forward with it.

Initiations, upgrades and awakenings come in all different packages. They can be disguised as illness, motherhood, a breakup/divorce, or simply a moment in time when you blink your eyes open and say: “this way of living no longer works for me.” Regardless of what gets you there, the work of reorganizing towards alignment is often characterized by some common experiences: lots of confusion and frustration, the urge to reorganize seemingly everything, definitely some “why can’t I just be normal”, amplified feelings of alienation and loneliness and wondering when it’s going to be over...


I often say that upgrading/awakening is like Disneyland for the soul. But within the human experience, it can be excruciating and disorienting.


That’s why having a supportive community is so invaluable. Why uncovering the shared experience makes the surrender so much easier - almost enjoyable. Why having space held for you and all of the confusion reflected back towards you as clarity can be the most powerful catalyst outside of the experience itself...


Along the way, there’s bound to be all sorts of resistance. I mean you *are* completely changing your vibration and aligning with a new set of values, so of course there is. Alongside the fear (because no matter how well you strengthen it, the nervous system will always see change as something to fear) there will be grief for the life that is no longer yours. But next to the fear and grief there is anticipation and curiosity. And a magical opportunity to design your upgraded life with artistry.

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