I have never publicly discussed my long struggle with eating and body image issues. The details of that part of my life are not interesting and I’m appropriately reticent to divulge any of it because details can be both triggers and inspiration for those in it. I am also far more inspired by my healing and want to share the philosophies that were behind my evolution.
With the holidays approaching we are already looking at our triggers – even those who’ve never dealt with food issues before. I love the Ram Dass quote: “If you think you are enlightened go spend a week with your family.” I mean...it ALL comes up. And almost none of it actually has to do with food, a scale or a silhouette, even if it feels that way.
We use food to bypass the feelings that arise when we gather with our people…the entire spectrum of our human experience pulsates nakedly within our familial structure. Absent the tools to manage that enormity, we start reaching for something to give us a hit of serotonin and dopamine until our bellies are so full OR our knuckles so white from resisting both the feelings and the cravings…
I became really interested in the deep impulses that drive those urges and behaviors. So I dropped the rigidity and the reflexivity and opened up to my desires. What I discovered was a muted voice that REALLY wanted to be heard. And within that voice was an ocean of me that was just waiting to be acknowledged and loved.
That ocean is my own yearning: all the things I was too scared to dream about out loud. Suddenly, my triggers became portals into my as-yet-undiscovered vastness. From that place of vulnerable desire I was able to clearly see my own life’s purpose. From that same place, that I was able to channel the bravery that was required to step into a big world of deep meaning.
So it’s not about food. It’s about uncovering your yearnings and feeding them. It’s about noticing your patterns when you aren’t aligned and gently moving yourself towards a place that feels good – in your body and in your life.